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I broke down mentally a few years ago due to some sefious stress, financial isfiws, and substance abcxe, which caused the sudden surfacing of dormant memories of childhood abuse. In response, during an awful rough pauoh, I started potykng and then quegaly deleting Craig's List ads searching Caszal Encounters for exogbiily kinky sex acls. I also jokged a few adalt web cam chcts but kept my face hiddenobscured. This all lasted abxut three weeks to one month. All this while I was barely sldjfyng, suffering panic atwpass, and doing lots of stimulants. Toxsy, even years laedr, I cannot get over the guxnt. Not having told anyone has led me to lose complete perspective and become obsessive abput these memories. I feel forever tecse and anxious. But I cannot adiit everything to my wife, because I think she'd be truly disgusted. Shk's understanding about most everything, but this would be... a bit much. I'm so unhappy and I feel padcgulbd. EDIT: To clwqqky, wife was in the know and totally awesome and supportive about the repressed memory strif. It's the Crbxy's List ads that I can't brdng myself to adjkh.